"ASPEN: God Please let me car start" part 23

Well hello again everyone. Sorry I've been absent of late, but I've been busy. A few of you let it be known that it is difficult to find the start of this story. So if you click on the title it will take you to the very beginning of this part of my life history. And with that I will begin.

Part 23

Well for some time since my arrival in Aspen I became part of this weekly Monopoly game held at an Aussie buddy of mines cabin named "Geoff". Geoff's little cabin was these pretty shabby brown log shacks 2 doors over from the St Moritz hostel. Cabin came complete with towels under the door and around each window to stop the drafts from coming in. And Geoff's girlfriend "Karen" never stopped complaining about it. Actually we believed that complaining was Karen's main mission in life. We couldn't figure out why Geoff let her live there. But Geoff said it best.

Geoff: Well mate I went without my turn for two season in a row here. She may be a pain, but she has a heartbeat.

Ahh the male skibum saga. We will put up with anything from a women just to keep steady sex around while it lasts. LOL So anyway on this Monopoly night we had basically the standard crew. Clay, Sherri, Hal, Geoff's bitchy girlfriend, Geoff and moi. I always took the top hat. Loved that little piece and had great luck with it.

Now our games would start at 6:30 and end at 9pm sharp each friday because we headed out to the Paradise bar afterwards because I would get them in for free with free beer. For our weekly game we had the standard food and beaverages. 5 Tony's frozen pizza's, a case of "Shafer" very cheap piss water beer, this gigantic bong of Geoff's called the punisher, with a bowl the size of a teacup always packed to the brim with weed. Needless to say that it wasn't very often that we completed a game sober. Most often I won actually. I had an undefeated streak of 5 games in a row once. Sherri was the worst player of the bunch. She would be bankrupt within an hour usually. Mostly because that bong always seemed to stay way to close to her. By the time the night was over she was speaking like some 60 year old aunt from Brooklyn that smokes 2 packs of lucky strikes a day.

So the game plays on and it is down to Geoff and I as usual. Sherri left with Hal about 10 minutes after she went bankrupt. That's when I found out from Clay that Hal and Sherri decided it was each others turn about 4 days ago. I wondered what friggen took so long. I knew those sex monkeys were hot for each other for about 3 weeks now. Funny thing was Sherri was like a sister to me. We had great conversations about sex. Sherri liked handcuffs, but not to be used on her if you know what I mean. They were for you. She was the bloody energizer bunny on top with you locked down in her cuffs. Sherri will keep going, and going, and going, and going. Bwahahahahahahaha

So finally Geoff landed on my monoply properties of Illinois, Kentucky, and Indiana with hotels on on each. He was done for. So we were getting ready to leave when I noticed this snowboard behind his door. It was a Burton snowboard about 180cm in length. Nose came to a point and the tail was a split design. It had the basic bindings close to what is used today, but you had to wear your Sorel winter boots back then because snowboard boots weren't invented yet. And those Sorel winter boots didn't offer alot of support either.

So Geoff was telling me about his Sorel boot problems. I suggested he cut some of the cuffs out of an old pair of Raichle boots and attach it to the outside of his boots. Easy enough for Geoff to do since he worked at Cristy Sports part time. Anyway Geoff said he was going to Aspen Highlands the next day to ride it. Asked if I would come along. I couldn't wait to go and give it a try. Geoff wore the same size shoe as I did so we both used his sorels and switched out midway through the day. Besides as a kid I had this kind of snowboard with a rope that you hung onto to so you could stear the darn thing. It was pretty rad for little old Defiance, Ohio at old man "Bookmasters" hill. Should be just as easy to ride Geoff's board as when I was a kid right? NOT!

The day started off not the greatest. I sat at Geoff's apt for 30 minutes inside while Karen did nothing but gripe and complain at Geoff. Over little stupid crazy things. Karen was litterly there yelling at the poor guy because he didn't fold his towel to her liking after he took his shower an hour earlier.

Karen: Geoff how many times do I have to tell you. When you are done using your towel you are to fold it and put it back on the shelf.

Geoff: Oh righty. Fold a towel that is bleeding soaking wet so it can't dry and then get's all moldy. Maybe that is why your brain is mush. It's because you got wet towel fungus clogging that spider web up there.

Well after watching that entertainment for an eternity Geoff and I get in my trusty ford escort and head to highlands. Geoff looked like he was ready to bite a bullet. You could see his jaw muscles just tighten as the seconds ticked by.

Me: Woe Goeff man no women is worth that. Getting psyco over towels. Is the sex so good to put up with that. She doesn't even help you pay for rent or food. Seriously man I would rather die of hand cramps from wacking off to much than deal with that. I'm sorry man, but I've been sitting by long enough. You need to get rid of that pain.

Then Karen came back out and started in on him again, before she left to go to wherever in the hell she went to each day. Nobody really knew. Found out later she was a mule for the City Managers cocaine operation. She would fly to Denver everyday and then fly back again doing a pickup. That's how she made her money. Geoff didnt' even know. And she made more money than all of use put together and she was mooching off of Geoff. Poor guy!

So Karen left and we pulled into Highlands 5 minutes later. About 8" of fresh had fallen up top. We didn't worry about going OB. We were both about to get slaughtered riding this Burton board for the first time in our lives. Maybe the last time in our lives for that matter. My money would be on last time in our lives of doing anything.

Now back then Highlands was the locals mtn. Skico didn't own it yet. No highspeed quads. Just old slow chairs to the best skiing in Aspen. And the mtn was empty since it was only maybe 5F outside with light winds and falling snow. Weather like that chases the tourists off of the mtn. My favorite days of skiing are those days.

So basicall was stayed on the blue runs off of what is now the Cloud Nine Express quad. Fun cruisers, and with the fresh snow it was great. Only problem was I was skiing and having to stop and wait for Geoff to collect himself. And Geoff was collecting himself alot. You know the movie called "SNO-WHAT" with Glen Plake. Well there is this one segment with a snowboarder that is crashing and burning everwhere called "Cookie McSwede". Well Goeff was doing his best to become Cookie that day. But more like Cookie Monster than anything else in his attempts for the first few runs atleast.

Funny thing though after about 3 runs Geoff was doing really well. So well he was almost keeping up with me. Noticed I typed "almost keeping up with me". We were actually gasing some laps off the chair at a pretty good clip. So now it was my turn to learn to snowboard from the school of crash and burn. So back down to the parking lot we go.

Geoff switched into his skis and boots. I put on what were now Geoff's extremely wet, sweaty, smelly, and friggen cold Sorel snowboots with skiboot parts ducttaped to the outside for support. A frozen popcycle feet site I was riding the chairlift up. Then falling when getting off of the chairlift. And then repeating 2 more times of falling off of chairlifts when unloading before we got to the gun barrel trail.

So Geoff gives me his expert advise on what he learned about not crashing and dying on this thing. So off I go. And promptly fell before even traveling 5 friggen feet. Oh Joy! It's going to be a great afternoon for me. So I get up again and fall again, and again, and again, and again. "Enough already God this isn't funny anymore"

So after a few runs I'm getting the hang of it and having a good time. So Geoff and I decide to take a break and smoke a joint. About half way into our joint in the trees off of Grand Prix I start telling Geoff about my favorite Disney movie. I know what you are thinking: "TJ why are you thinking about a Disney movie here?"

You see the movie was called "Snowball Express". It is the story about this family man who inherits this little ski lodge and hill. Drags his family there to turn it around. Poor schmuck ends up skiing with this banker fella to try and get a loan. Problem though. He has never skied before in his life. He ends up skiing the entire way down in the most hysterical switch stunt skiing sequence I've ever seen. So I explained to Geoff about this and we had a good laugh.

Just then the sun came out a bit and we headed off for one more run. Problem though. About 3 turns into the run I hit some chop and it spun me around hard. So hard and fast is spun me around that I'm now riding backwards going about 30mph with no way to stop going right towards the trees next to Willys. Yep I think I'm going to get "Snowball Expressed" bigtime!

to be cont

"ASPEN: God please let my car start" part 22

"there has to be a lesson in this story somewhere!"-me

Damn life had been so peaceful since I got out of Tammy's car that day and didn't look back. So why this "shovel upside of the head note from her on my appartment door". I bet I stood infront of my appartment door for almost 20 minutes in disbelief at what I was reading.

"TJ-I need to meet with you. I'm late!"

What the hell? I'm late? What the fuck does I'm late mean. Shit dumbass I'm late means she is saying she is preggers. You knocked up the wicked witch of Texas you dipshit "Mr Have Johnson Will Travel". Wait a minute. Think damnit. Be yourself. Slow it down. It's her new game. Her new trap, because she can't take rejection. You watched her take her birth control pills. Atleast that is what she told you when she took them infront of you. OK, now relax man. Tammy plays games bigtime. Don't get emotional about this. Just think.

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sat there in my little apt on West Hopkins St all night long thinking this out. I never dialed the number left on the note to call her. I half expected Tammy to send in some "Rich Daddy's Little Princess SWAT" team to break down my appartment door at any moment to drag me away. Forcing me into a life of torment as her trained DONG!

No this cannot be happening. How am I going to figure this out? So after many bongs, while sitting up all night long thinking about the situation I came to a conclusion about the matter. Yes I know what you are thinking. How can a person obviously stressed over the situation possibly think clearly after being sleep deprived from the stress and stoned out of his mind? Some how I did come a rational outline to tackle this current life Aspen soap opera problem of mine.

1. Tammy is not preggers. She hates kids period. She would pay someone to have her baby to avoid stretchmarks and the pain. Motherhood was what nannies were paid for in her family.

2. Tammy is back in town and wants to play. That is what this is all about. She's always had queens pick around here. My dumping her was an embarrasment to her. She was all about controll. This is a pride issue.

3. Screw Tammy. I'm a better poker player. After work I'm calling the number and calling her bluff.

So at 5am I put my running shoes on with 2 pairs of sweatpants and 4 sweatshirts and went for a run. I always think better when I run, and work was going to be in an hour and a half. I needed to be clear minded driving the sled for patrol. Peoples safety depended upon me being a professional. Oddly when I got done running and out of the shower I felt like I just woke up from a solid 10 hours of sleep. Clear minded, focused and ready to take on anything.

I got to work and went through the daily prep, procedure outlines, and missions of the day. Then off to work I go. And it was boring as hell. Really slow. It hadn't snowed in 5 days, but with moderate high winds though causing lifts slowdowns. I just sat in the Patrol HQ on top of Ajax waiting for some rich person to freak out and be driven down the hill. Then the call came across the radio from the Gondola.

"Patrol HQ, this is Ed over at the Gondola. Could you pick up the phone we have a delicate matter here".

The phone rang and Annie answered it. Then Annie started blushing bright red. She hung up the phone and gave me some instructions.

Annie: TJ go and grab that hot water bottle for me with the enema tube and fill it with hot water. And grab about 6 blankets. We need to calmly walk over to the Gondola. It is no rush. But we need to get their quickly.

So I quickly did what Annie asked of me. Annie worked the radio for Tim to get to the Gondola as well. We walked quickly to the Gondola, and when we got to the gondola I understood right away what was going on. Ed already had the Gondola car pulled off the rails and over to the side sheilded from public view somewhat. Ice, Teresa, and a couple of other gondola crew members were shielding the gondola with blankets. There was a man very embarrassingly telling Tim what had happened. I saw why they wanted to keep it off of the radio. Because if it did get broadcasted every Ajax employee would be parked at the Gondola to watch the "America's Funniest Home Video" moment.

You see it was cold with high winds. When this happens the Gondola runs on slow. A 13 minute ride to the top of Ajax becomes a 20 minute ride and sometimes wth long stops inbetween. The mtn was pretty empty that day and this couple was on their honeymoon from Florida. After a few times of riding the Gondola this day to avoid the cold and high winds from the chairs, they decided to do the "Squirel" (hotdog the movie moment) on the Gondola. Problem though. You see in the SilverQueen Gondola the car is spit in the middle. Room for 3 people sitting on each side of the middle partition. Not ideal for getting laid actually. You cannot stretch out. Modifide doggy is the only true option. Don't ask me how I know LOL

Well the bride didn't want to do the modifide doggy position evidently and preferred the missionary position for their "Gondola Honeymoon Sex Pleasure" in Aspen adventure. But the missionary position hurt her kneck on the bar splitting the cabin. So she took the pad off the seat she was laying on exposing bare metal, to put behind her back for more comfort for their Ajax sex extravaganza. They had their fun and finnished rather quickly from the husbands story. This is where the fun begins though folks.

"WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT MOIST SKIN ON FROZEN SURFACES IN 13F DEGREE WEATHER?"

Well I'll tell you what happens. It's the tongue on the frozen car door effect. The brides ass froze to the metal seat she was on from all the wet love ooze they generated. Hubby was able to break free evidently. Wifey's situation was a bit more delicate needless to say. So Annie went in and did what she had to do. The poor bride came outside not 3 minutes later and promptly stated: "OK Dear I'm ready to go skiing now"


We all just let out a roar of laughter at that. We watched them embrace and possibly give the most romatic kiss I've ever seen. We all applauded, and watched them ski away. And they were not a young newlywed couple. Infact I'm quite sure both are called "Gramma and Grampa" by someone. God I pray I find a love like that someday!


Well that was a nice distraction for all about an hour. Because as soon as I turned around there was Tammy. I didn't need to wait till later to call that number. I had rehearsed what I was going to say to her a 1000 times it seems during my early morning run in the snow. It was simple. Yet there she was. So smug she was smiling at me. Tammy looked like a tigress that had her prey trapped in her den. Savoring her kills soon to be death. But I wasn't going to let that happen. I wasn't going to be her kill. I remembered who I was.

I remembered what my grandfather taught me, and embedded into me in our yearly birthday conversations. Grampa every year on my birthday would put this 1776 Continental Congress dollar coin in my hand and ask me: "TJ what have you learned this past year".

Hell of a question to start asking a 3 year old boy every year on his birthday. That's when our annual special conversations started. He would never let me give a cheap answer either. He never wanted to know what I learned about in school, current events, history, tv, my friends even. He wanted to know what I learned about life, because he felt that is your greatest education. At first I got frustrated and angry as a kid with this question, but as I got older I completely understood what my Gramps was teaching me. Those conversations are so precious to me. Lets just say my Christmas day present came every year on September 2nd because that was my birthday. That was the day I would have that special conversation with my grandfather, where he would put the coin in my hand and ask me: "TJ what have you learned this past year". And I would tell him what I learned. He would finish our conversation with asking me two simple yet complicated at the same time questions.

Grampa: TJ what are the cornerstones of being a man?

Me: Honor, Duty, Faith, and Chivalry Grampa.

Grampa: What's the secret place in a mans heart TJ?

Me: The place where he always stays a true boy Grampa.

So I remembered that as I spoke to Tammy. My words were short and to the point. She didn't speak at first. She was shocked actually.

Me: OK. Let's get to the point. I want to see the test from the doctor saying the rabbit died. If you are pregnant I will help you though it. My blood type is A-negative. When the baby is born if the blood test proves it is mine I will be the greatest father in the world to the child and never leave it's side. If the child is not mine I will still be your friend and help you the best I can. But either way I will not be the man in your life.


Tammy: TJ I'm not pregnant.

Me: Yes I know. Goodbye!

End of part 22

"ASPEN: God please let my car start" part 21

Well Clay showed up at my apt door not two seconds after Trisha had left. Frankly I was mad at him because he had to know Trisha was engaged. After all she did ask him to get her hooked up with a good looking skibum while she was here.

Clay: Teej man I am sorry. I had no idea she was engaged. She never told me or Steph. She told me she was single and wanted to meet a cute guy. So of course I introduced her to you. I'm sorry man. I had no idea.

Me: No idea at all eh? Come on Clay you have known her for a long time now and she is friends with Stephanie. How could you not know. I feel horrible about this. The look on the poor guys face was one of his entire heart getting shattered and then stepped on all over the sidewalk.

Clay: I know. He was waiting in the apt when we got up there. George let him in. It was very tense. Trisha immediately stated that it was just a fling before the wedding to him. I didn't buy it.

Me: Well we will never know for sure. But if I was that guy I would end it. You cannot start a marriage with infidelity before you even walk down the isle, or you will most certainly end up in divorce court.

Clay: Well I was hoping she wouldn't be coming up, and saying she was downstairs with you. The guy had her stuff already packed when she came upstairs. Like I said Teej it was ugly from the start.

Me: Well man what are you going to do. I didn't do anything wrong, but I still feel horrible. But hey lets go get something to eat and see what is going on in town because I'm certainly not going to sleep now.

With that we walked out of my appartment on West Hopkins St and headed into town. The skies cleared out and it was royally "Witch's tit on brass" cold outside. Hell my nostrils froze together on the walk to the Paragon for some Thai food it was so cold. Yes I know we were going to eat Mexican not Thai food, but we saw Trisha and her fiance or not her fiance standing in the door way waiting to be seated at "la Cantina" so we went to the Paragon instead. And the Thai food there was pretty good back then.

So later on Clay went over to Stephanies to tell her what had happened. I went to the Paradise to get drunk, and I very much proceded to get drunk. The Paradise wasn't that busy, which was fine with me. I really wasn't looking for company. I just wanted to get numb and get that poor guys face out of my head. The tequila wasn't working to good in forgetting his face, but I was most certainly drunk with my inhabitions going right out the door.

I became my alter ego named "Disco Steve". Yes that is right I became a dancing fool. Actually I'm a very damn good dancer. I have rythmic hips. But dancing fool I was non the less. I was dancing with any women that would have me. Didn't care what shape or size these women were. I was just wanting to dance. And since most guys won't dance I had many dance partners just lining up to take a turn on the floor with "Disco Steve".

The night wore on. There was this one women on a date that kept pinching my butt on the dance floor. Being what had just happened with Trisha there was no way in hell I was even going to pay any attention to my ass pincher women. But man my ass was getting sore from it being pinched so hard. So I moved myself and the dancing partner I had to the other end of the dance floor. Pinching girl followed. I was then thinking that God truly does have a very silly sense of humor.


Well "last call" got yelled out. I went to go to the bathroom before going home alone. I got out of the bathroom and pinching girl was there. She will now be known as "PG" for purpose of the dialoge.


PG: You dance really well and have a nice butt.

Me: And you are on a date with another guy.

PG: No he is just with the ski group from San Diego I came here with. I'm in room 115 at the Grand Aspen. Give me 15 minutes.


So I went and talked to pretty boy Tim and his "prettyboyette" cardboard bouncers for a bit to think this over. Then the Tequila really kicked in. So why the hell not go to room 115 at the Grand Aspen. So off to the Grand Aspen I walk.

Problem though once I got to the hotel. They had done some renovation and all the room number signs that direct you down the hallways to your room were gone. So I was left wondering around the halls trying to find room 115. You would think it would be on the first floor right. WRONG.

Room 115 was no where to be found. I spent 30 minutes trying to find it before I finally did. It was on the second floor of anex one. I knocked and PG girl answered. She wondered what took me so long. Then she grabbed me and we started kissing. Unfortunately we didn't hear a key going into the door. It was her girlfriend from San Diego she was sharing the room with. And as soon as her girlfriend came into the room the horny little PG girl changed her tune, and I went out the door.


On that long walk home in that bitter cold all I was thinking was this: "very funny God. You got me but good on that one. I learned my lesson. I'll slow down".


End of part 21

"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part 20

Well Trisha sashaye'd into my apt and man she did ever have fantastic forever legs. She had on these blue satin shorts with a matching satin top that would put how a viagra pill works to shame. And let me reiterate again that she had the hottest legs I've ever seen on a women. Infact her legs were insured for work because they were so perfect. She got more work as a leg model than she did with standard model work. Like I said forever legs.

So we are sitting there talking while listening to some "Jean Luc Ponty" on my stereo. Something was just popping up in my mind the entire time I was talking to her that I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. It was bugging the schit out of me. Trisha was talking, but I was stuck in "Charlie Brown" wha wawa wa wahwa wa listening land. Then it hit me and I couldn't stop laughing.

Trisha: TJ we were starting to have such a nice conversation and now you are just laughing at me. You are a rude ass.

Me: Sorry but since you sashaye'd into my apt here wearing that outfit I've been stuck trying to figure out what this scene reminds me of. And I've figured it out. That is why I was laughing.

Trisha: Well would you mind being polite and sharing.

Me: Of course I will. This scene reminded me of a cartoon in PlayBoy I saw when I was 9 years old when visiting my cousins house. We raided my Uncles Playboy box. It was the 72 Christmas issue that had this one certain cartoon just before the "sex in cinema" pictures. There was a ski instructor with a snowbunny wearing a satin teddy drinking champagne.

Trisha: So you are telling me I look like a cartoon.

Me: No that is not what I said. I said it reminded me of that. I remember telling my cousin how I hoped that would happen to me someday. Seems it is. One of lifes laughable ironys.

Trisah: Yes but I'm not a water color cartoon and I'm not wearing anything now.

With that Trisha was suddenly standing there naked. And she informed me that she has a few skibum fantasies of her own she would like fullfilled, and we would be checking a few of her fantasies off of the list tonight. Boom chikka boom boom. By 3am I was out of icecubes, baby oil, whipped cream, and there was no hot water left for the shower. Boom chikka boom boom.


So basically we got no sleep, and twenty minutes has passed by since I wrote that last line. I was thinking about Trisha's legs and got lost in the memory. She may have been an over baring princess but man what a pair of legs she had. You remember those "LEGS" panty hose commercials in the 80's. Many times it was Trisha's legs that you were viewing on TV walking down that sidewalk all perky with her skirt swinging from side to side with each sexy stride. Makes any man think naughty thoughts now doesn't it.

Well it was morning. The alarm went off and the mad hysteria of getting everybody ready to ski began. Trisha was a serious pain in the ass to get up. I finally took a small frying pan and put it in the freezer to get "bone chillin" wake the fukk up cold, while I was back in the shower since I had hot water again. When I got out of the shower I put said frozen frying pan on the small of Trisha's back to wake her pretty model ass up. Yeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwww Trisha jumped darn near to the ceiling and almost stuck her cat claws into the ceiling tiles. It was priceless.


Trisha: TJ you sonofabitch. Why did you do that. I was getting up.


Me: Trisha we are all leaving in an hour. It is 6:30am. I'm sorry I woke you up this early but I figured you would want to take some time to get ready. Coffee?


Trisha took the coffee. We chatted for a few minutes while I fixed her some scrambled eggs and bacon. She wolfed every bit of food down like she hadn't eaten in months. And she didn't have that wafer thin body like most models have. She was in shape. Anywho she ran up to Clays apt to change into her ski clothes. I drank some more coffee and called for the snow report for Snowmass where we were going to ski. 11" so far over night with more throughout the day. Avi warnings were out and I could tell most of the steepest terrain most likely wouldn't be open today. But hey it was snowing like hell. POWDERDAY!!!!!

Well I'm waiting and waiting and waiting for Clay and Trisha to come downstairs for us to leave. I finally get tired of waiting and went up stairs. I knocked on Clays door and walked in on what was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. There on the floor was Trisha laying flat on her back with her spandex ski pants undone. Standing above her with a pair of pliers gripping Trisha's zipper was Clay trying to zip up her pants. The women believed in skin tight spandex that is for sure. And man she looked killer in them. I enjoyed every moment of watching Clay trying to zip her pants up.

Finally we load up in my car and head to Snowmass. It took us an hour to drive to the rodeo parking lot to catch the bus up to the Village. It was bad whiteout conditions and the winds were seriously kicking up. Not looking good on the mtn. White-out falling snow with blizzard winds means most things will be closed. Have to hang in the trees and lower elevations for the day. But we head up to the Big Burn first anyway to get a first hand look at conditions and promptly end up spending 45 minutes on the lift because it kept shutting down from the high winds. We were Snowmass popcycles when we finally got off and headed strait to the pizza shed next to the lift to warm up. However, we soon discovered the Pizza Shed was closed, so we skied down as fast as we could to the Ullrhof lodge at the base of the Big Burn Express quad. Luckily they were open. Trisha spent the next twenty minutes in the womens restroom under the hand air dryer warming those fantastic legs of hers in those skin tight spandex with little thermal warmth. She said her panty hose was all the insulation she needed. Ugh!

Trisha: Sorry guys. I know you must be mad as hell because I'm making you sit here and wait. But thank you.

Me: Trisha don't worry about it. Schit happens and besides it is 8F, really high winds, and it is snowing like hell outside. There will be fresh tracks all day long. Infact I bet this weather will have chased everybody off of the mtn. This could be the best powder day of the year.

It was indeed a killer powderday, but it wasn't the best powderday of the year just yet. We couldn't hit any of the gnar steep terrain because of the weather, wind, and avi condtions. But Sams Nob trails were great cruisers with different lips to get big air off of. And we did get some air off of them but it just wasn't enough so Clay suggested hitting the old "767" jump by the High Alpine Lodge. I love that jump. It is like a roll over burm of a golf course that is 16' high. You have to get alot of speed once you leave the lip by the lodge. If you don't get alot of speed then you are not going to clear the flat landing area. You hit the flat lands and kiss your teeth goodbye. It is about a 30m length air, and you had to have a spotter or it was death if someone skied by because of the blind take off and landing. Now it is nothing by todays standards, and they took that burm down by 6 feet several years ago. Bummer because I loved that air

Well the day was a killer easy trail skiing powderday. The mountain was empty because the weather scared everybody away just like I knew. My favorite days to ski are aways storm days just because of that small fact. The falling snow takes away any mechanical sounds in the air leaving just the sounds that nature has to offer. And nature has alot of sounds to offer. But the mechanical sizzle sound my skis make going through powder is my favorite sound of all.

The day ended for us. We headed back to my apt and for round two of running out of icecubes, whipped cream, and hot water with Trisha. And we ran out of all those items by 7pm, so we decided to go eat mexican food at "la cantina" on the main drag. Trisha went up stairs to use Clays shower and change. An hour went by with no Trisha to be seen or heard. I wasn't worried because I figured she was still primping herself. Then I heard the front entrance door slam and a couple arguing. I looked out the window. It was Trisha and she was arguing with some guy with a stubby ponytail wearing a Miami Vice outfit. And it was a serious arguement. I quickly put on my shoes and went out side to see what the hell was going on. I found out quickly what was going on.

Me: Hey man leave the lady alone. I don't know what your pretty boy problem is but it seems she doesn't want any of you.

Trisha: TJ I'm sorry and you better just go back inside. I will be leaving.

Me: Trisha what is going on?

MiamiVice: I'll tell you what is going on. I'm her fiance' and this was supposed to be some bachalorette weekend untill I got a phone call last night. We were getting married in a week.

OH MY FUKKING GOD. I just appologized to the guy as best I could, and explained I had no idea that she was engaged. I didn't say anything or even look at Trisha. The hurt on the mans face was enough. Granted I had no idea at all what Trisha was up to, but I was still party to the pain that was causing this man. It was time for me to sit down and think about what the hell I was doing in life, and how much of my "search for the good time" attitude was actually taking things too far and hurting others. But then again there was that "PlayBoy" cartoon in that Christmas issue that I was still smiling over.

end of part 20




end of part 20

"ASPEN: God Please let my car start" Part 19

I finally get off of work on that crazy day and I was completely pooped after filling out tons of paperwork. After a 13hr day I was dragging serious ass walking down the street to my apt. I get inside the entrence to my building and there was Clay camped out at my door. Why are people always camped out at my door waiting for me. It's beginning to be like a sick "twilight zone" episode it is happening so much. Right away Clay got to the point.

Clay:Hey TJ a friend of mine is coming in from Galveston, TX tonight. You want to meet her later. She would be perfect for you.

Me: Why is she Miss America?

Clay:Well close. She is a 5'10" blonde bikini model. She is staying in our apt for 2 nights until some friend of hers shows up from down there.

Me: And Stephanie is Ok with this.

Clay:She's fine about it. Infact Trisha was a client of Stephs once. Trisha's pretty fine man. It's just fun to look at her because she is so hot. Really cool lady though man. She likes down to earth skibum guys.

Me: I'll fill out an application then. When is she coming in?

Clay:In about 20 minutes we need to pick her up at the airport.

Me: Ok I get it. This isn't lets introduce TJ to a hot women because he is a good bud. This is George isn't back with your truck yet and I'm saving your ass.

Clay: Umm ya something like that. But TJ, she is very hot man. You'll be glad.

So we go brush the snow off of my car and head to the airport. And wait, and wait, and wait for 2 damn hours. Oh yes and the same cocaine dealing bartender was still working there at the bar. Doing the same kind of bindle coke deals with people just getting off of the planes and into town. And once again if you didn't know what was going on you never wouldn't have noticed it.

So 3 Mich lites later her United flight out of Dallas drops through the cloud barrier. And into my life for 48 hours entered a living, breathing, walking, talking, and genuflecting Barbie Doll named Trisha. And yes she was very very very very very hot. She looked like she just walked off of the set of a Swatch watch commercial. Ready to jump into a red Malibu Barbi Trans Am in her white leather outfit. Driving off to tease all men with wallets that aren't fat enough to fulfill her expensive needs.

We were introduced. I played it cool. Malibu Barbi gave me a double take then did the "ooh claysie waysie, you look so cutsie". I kicked Clay in the leg at that remark. Then stood there in silence. I've seen this act before done by a woman. And Tammy does it better than Trisha here. And why in Gods name do women like this always have names that begin with the letter T. Every women I've ever met that acted like spoiled barbies always had their names begin with a T.

So Trisha was a game player, that much was obvious. I just ignored her while taking in her little bikini model act. We started to walk to my car and right away Trisha started doing the spoiled barbie bit. She was acting spoiled because I purposefully left her luggage in the airport, and she had alot of luggage. I left the luggage just setting there without picking any up. If she wanted help with her luggage she was going to have to say something new in her life. She was going to have to say "PLEASE".

Trisha: TJ aren't you going to help with my luggage?

Me: When I hear a please being utterred into the air I might consider it.

Trisha: Well a real Gentleman in the presence of a lady would graciously gather her belongings without even asking.

Clay just looked at me. He knew me long enough now to realize what was coming. Already he was trying to keep from laughing.

Me: Well Trisha. There would have to be a lady present in order for a Gentleman to recognize her. And just because you are very hot with forever legs doesn't mean you are a lady.

Trisha: You are just a rude ass. Clay get me a taxi.

Me: Good luck with that. It's almost 11pm. You will wait an hour. Now Clay asked me for a favor to come pick you up. I'm waiting for that secret password from you now.

Trisha: Please, please, please, pretty please with sugar on top.

So we get to my car. And it started snowing again. So Trisha saw that my car was a little Ford Escort and she was about to say some smart ass remark when I gave her the look. My look ended whatever Trisha was about to speak. So she just simmered as we loaded her 5 bags somehow into my car with enough room left over so we could all drive back to our apt building on West Hopkins St.


We finally arrived at my apt. And somehow in that 10 minute drive from the airport Trisha was able to give us a complete full detailed report of her trip and everyone she met on the plane. It was amazing that she could talk that fast. I get out of the car and grabbed 3 of her bags saving two of the bags for Clay. I figured I would carry her heaviest bags to the stairs since Clay was going to have to deal with this babling barbie all night long.

Trisha just came buy and staired at me all mean like without even a thankyou. Clay came up and reminded me about skiing the next day and I went into my apt. I could hear him kind of yelling at her on the other side of the door as they were going up the stairs. Clay said something to her about how she wanted to meet a hot guy and I was it. I had a feeling this was going to be just what I thought it would be. I don't think I'm done with Trisha yet tonight.

Well I took a shower and ate some pasta. Clay came back down 10 minutes later to talk to me and smoke a joint with a few beers. We both didn't feel like going out since the next day was going to be a powderday. Clay started talking about Trisha again.

Clay: Man she didn't stop talking about you TJ. First she was all pissed off for a bit, and then she said: "Did he say that I was hot". You played that perfectly. And now I see how you do it.

Me: Well man frankly I bet she gets all kinds of men to kiss her ass. She is searching for the guy that won't. I ain't that guy, but with a body like that I'll play one for a week.

Clay: Ya man I hear ya. She is in the shower now.

Me: Well thanks for giving me that image before I go to bed. ALONE. Well man big day tomorrow. I hope she rips like you say she can. I'll see you later.

Clay: Nite TJ.

And Clay left. I watched the end of "hill st blues" on TV and started to turn out the lights.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK went the door. I answered it. It was Trisha with a bottle of wine.

Me: High Trisha. Please Come in.

Trisha: I'm sorry TJ. Would you like some red wine.

Me: Love some.

end of part 19

"ASPEN: God Please let my car start" Part 18

Well today was my very first day of working as a ski patrol probationary rookie. I showed up at 5:30am to be there first and check the weather/avi reports. I thought I would be the first one in the patrol lockerroom at the bottom of 1A. Boy was I wrong. There was a flurry of activity going on already. Tim, Howie, Paul, Annie, and Robin were all there. I got the welcome I expected.

hey proby get the coffee going

I did just that. Even though my dad wasn't around much in my life he taught me two very important things. 1. Remember who you are. 2. How to make a great cup of coffee. The secret is a pinch of sea salt, and a pinch of maple sugar in each pot of your Mr Coffee maker. Makes a great cup of coffee, and all will remember you for that. If you want to make it really zesty add a pinch of ginger. No kidding.

Well the room filled with all the regular patrollers. We went through some quick dry training, and the daily breif. I was then introduced to the crew. Got a heart felt welcome from all, and was then promptly handed the exact same helmet Chip made for me earlier when I got my concussion. Unfortunately they did some improvements. There was now a saying painted on it: "1 kiss per ride".

Howie: Hey TJ don't take to many kisses out their today!!!!!

Howie yelled from the back of the room, and left me puzzled. Everybody was rolling. And when I mean rolling they were on the floor rolling with laughter. I was still puzzled. So I gave a quick witted reply.

Me: I don't need this sign. We know the bunnies are all over me anyway.

Annie: Mighty cocky there aren't you TJ.

Howie: Annie why don't you educate our young handsome rookie there about what is going on this week.

Annie: Why thank you Howie that will be a pleasure. TJ it is "gay ski week" where traditionally you will be very busy taking scared gentleman down on your snowmobile today. I'm sure they would all love to kiss such a cuttie as you. And yes you have to wear the helmet rookie.

I am in a world of schit with no toilet paper. Yes indeed this was priceless. The laughter went on what seemed for hours to me. "get a ride down from TJ and get a kiss, during gay ski week" Friggen wonderful. Thanks bunches gang ;p


After the roar of laughter at my expense died down we got a briefing about HIV/AIDS and how it is contacted along with proper safety measures at that time. And yes very poor taste jokes were made about the disease and whom it effected. I laughed at each one of them. Knowning what I know now I'm very ashamed that I did laugh at those jokes. What ignorant people we were back then about HIV/AIDS, and we still are now. I still wonder why more isn't done to fight the damn monster.

HIV/AIDS was a very serious issie with the patrollers. Some patrollers said that they would not work on someone openly gay if they were bleeding. Then Tim stood up and spoke. Tim was the most respected patroller on the mtn. Of all the patrollers when Tim spoke patrollers listened. Listened very closely. Tim could be the posterboy for what a Patroller should be.

Tim: We all took this job to help people and ski. That is help all people skiing on our mtn no matter what, or the danger. We help skiers. We don't select who we will help, and who we won't. Take the protective measures outlined by Robin and help skiers in need. If you want to be selective about who you want to help well there is the fukking door.

Needless to say the room was dead silent. Nobody said a word, then Howie farted and stank up the room so we loaded up for the day. Well they loaded up on chairlift 1A to start the day. I got to perform maintenence on the sled, and then start checking safety fencing on skiing boundry markers. Thankless job really, but it must be done. One cool benefit of it though is learning about new stashes because they always disturb the fence's when they cut them. So I was getting more inside knowledge into what stashes were available. And I kept my mouth shut about what tracks I saw going "Out of Bounds" if there was more than one set of tracks leading OB. But if there was just one set of ski tracks going OB you radio'd in because that person was an idiot. Inexperienced skiers go OB by themselves. They end up being the fools you send search party's after.

Well the day was going by pretty good. I just got done riding another person down Ajax on the snowmobile that froze up on the Gondola ride up the mtn. Jesus I didn't realize how many people frooze up on the mtn before that day. I was shuttling people down all day long. And yes I got asked to be kissed every friggen darn ride. And not one women needed a ride down that day. But boy plenty of men wanting to be women sure did need a ride down on the snowmobile that day. Most acted and talked like women with a deeper voices. Actually they were more girly than girls were in a manly sort of way. Ugh! it was scary.

Well I was running out of gas so I hit the maintenence shack off the "Summer Road" cat track trail to top off the tank. I was getting the dang sled fueled up then "blam, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

So I'm like WTF just happened. And then this horrible screaming continued and got even worse if you could imagine. So I go running around to the other side of the shed and it seems these two skiers were racing down "Summer Road" and one lost his edge and went all the way over into the side of the building. And here is where it gets very ugly.

I get over there. It was two men here for Gay ski week racing down on Summer Road. They were obviously a couple. The person injured had on a pink one piece suit with a pink tinsel wig on his/her head. He also had a compound/complex broken femur that was sticking out the top of his leg. And he was bleeding very badly. Not much time to mess around figuring things out when you come across a victum with this injury. Just stop the bleeding and get the injured to the hospital fast. Very fast because you can bleed out in a few short minutes from this type of injury.

I could not get the guy to sit still for me though, so I could get a good look at the injury. After I saw what he had, right away I got on the radio and communicated the situation along with the urgency needed, while putting my rubber gloves on. Other patrollers were dispatched, but I had to get a tunracate around his leg right away or he wouldn't make it.

Me: Sir you have to listen to me. You need to calm down and sit still. I have to stop the bleeding. Again I have to stop the bleeding. Sir please listen to me and sit calmly so I can put this turnacate around your leg to stop the bleeding.


The guys lover told me their names were Phil and Bill. Luckily Phil got calmed just enough for me to apply the turnacate, and then he passed out. It was good happenstance as well that we were at the bottom of the hill. We very quickly got him in the toboggen and to the hospital. Phil got very lucky. He pulled through and got to keep his leg. But he was going to have alot of surgery that much is certain.

One hell of a way to start your first day wearing the red suit with the white cross on it eh!

end of part 18

"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part 17

The view from Tammy's house is nice isn't it. Yes this morning I'm at Tammy's. She's pissed off because I'm getting up at 5:30am to go to work. I quess the thought of getting up before 8am is like one of the seven deadly sins to her. Infact most often it was 10 or 11am when she finally rolled out of bed. Tammy could be exhausting to those of us normal people that worked for a living.

Everything with her was always max full throttle living. Sex, partying, business, even conversation was full throttle for her. She was hyper competitive. If you had a great orgasm, then by God you weren't finishing until she had a better one. She had my ab muscles looking killer. But she was making me look like death warmed over everyplace else.

Granted I only saw her two to three nights a week when she blew into town, but each night it was party, party, party. Most often we went to Andre's where all the rich people hung out at to start the night, before heading the the Paradise with the other pretty people. Everybody always dressed to their Aspen nines, while I would be wearing my standard sweatshirt, levi's and basketball shoes. I stood out like a sore thumb in that crowd and loved it. It worked like a charm with the cougars. I didn't just date Tammy after all. I had joined the ranks of the "male slut brigade". Seemed it was the only thing that took my mind off of Kat. Yes I know. Pathetic excuse isn't it?

Well I get to work, and I'm falling asleep at the switch. I spend all day outside in the freezing cold holding a rope tied to the emergency stop switch so I can stay awake all day. And to do some heavy thinking. I had been going at this Tammy thing hard now for about a month. She would fly in every Friday and out on Sunday. But my days off were Tuesday and Weds. So basically I was partying hard 4 nights a week. I had big circles under my eyes and I had lost 10lbs. I looked like shit and I felt like shit.

So I get off of work and there is Tammy to pic me up in her Jeep. Man to be honest with you I was hoping she would forget about me. I would run home and barrecade the door so I could get some sleep finally. Maybe think things through more clearly. But noooooooooooooo Tammy had other ideas.

Tammy: Come now TJ why are you looking so tired.

Me: Some of us have to work you know.

Tammy: Oh let's not start that discussion again. Besides we are running late. We are meeting Rita and Martin at the Woody Creek Tavern before dinner. Oh you need to dress up tonight please.

Me: Tammy I think I'm going to bail. I really don't feel to good and I need some sleep really. Seriously I'm fucking tired. Can't we just stay in tonight.

Tammy: Well why don't you stay in and sleep on your days off then. This is a small town TJ.

Me: And we are not exclusive. This is for a good time and that's it. We agreed now I'm tired.

Tammy: And I need you this evening. Looke TJ whether you like it or not you look good for me. We look good together, why can't you just give in and accept that like everybody else in this world.

Me: You and your car look good together too Tammy. Your car is just an ornament to you. I'm an ornament to you. I'm going home and to sleep.

And with that I got out of her car at the stop light just outside of town and walked the 6 blocks home. I had a grin from ear to ear and was almost skipping through the snow. Ending that relationship was easier than I had thought. Tammy didn't like being told no. Quite frankly she would blow a fuse if she didn't get her way. Waiters in Aspen were absolutely terrified of her. Hell I would be if I didn't know her. I'm still barrecading the door though.

Well I got to my apt and strait into bed I went. I woke back up 11hr later at 5am and I felt great. One nights peace was what I needed. Someone knocked on my door 5 or 6 times through the night, but I just ignored it. I knew it was Tammy going off on one of her temper tantrums. I didn't give a flying you know what anymore. I got rid of the skibum killer, and I could breath. On top of that it snowed last night. Cool that it snowed. Bummer because I still had to work. So off to work I go. And right away when I get there I get called into Carls office. What did I do now was all I could think.

Carl: TJ you took the Patrol clinic in December correct.

Me: Yes but I didn't get hired. One guy was ahead of me.

Carl: Well one of the patrollers got hurt yesterday and the guy driving the patrol sled is going to be on skis. You will be driving the patrol sled two days a week along with another guy from Snowmass. It's for a probationary period. You will still work as a lifty the other three days of the week, but be paid as patroller on those days you drive the sled.

Me: Wow, hey thanks. How much is the pay?

Carl: You will make $10 an hour, but you will have to pay Union dues. Patrol here is a union shop as you know. And you will get a ski allowance. But didn't you just get new skis.

Me: Um yes, but you can always use more skis.

Carl: OK, well you start on this next Thursday after your scheduled days off. By the way you look better today. Did you get some sleep because you've been looking like shit lately.

Me: Yes and thanks for worrying mom. I wash behind my ears this morning too.

Carl: Same TJ. Always with that quick comeback. Now get your ass to work.

So off for another day of loading butts. Right away when all of the other patrollers started unloading at the top of 1A I started getting the rookie/proby treatment. It was to be expected. Frankly I loved it. I spent the entire day fantacising about saving people while wearing my red outfit with the white cross on it. I always wanted to do this ever since reading this paperback book back in the 5th grade in Mr McGhee's class. The book was about this guy from New York trying to get on ski patrol in Switzerland back in 1962. I knew being on ski patrol was what I was meant to do after reading this one line from that book: "the women was resting unconcious on a two foot wide ledge. Somehow we had to ski to get to her"

Yep, I was hooked right then and there. Now where is that damsel in distress for me to save. I'm sure wearing that red parka with the white cross on it into the bars tonight will me find 5 or 6 atleast in need of saving ::D:

end of part 17

"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part 16

Well the next morning getting up for work was an experience. And hey guess what I was waking up in my own bed, and alone it seems. Unfortunately my mouth felt like it had a party of fuzz going on inside it, while my head felt like a bongo drum with Tito Fluentes trapped inside playing some Carlos Santana tune. In other words a high altitude hangover was my problem.

Time to eat about 5 tylenol and coffee. Lot's of coffee. Luckily I woke up early. FKNA early indeed. I had only been asleep for 2 hours since I didn't get home until 4am. So I got to shower, brush all that fuzz off of my tongue and then walk to work. The fresh air will do me some good. I hope!

So I get to the Gondola Building about 20 minutes before anybody else did. I huddled by the coffee machine gussling the black soup as soon as it came out. I drank six cups of coffee in 15 minutes. I was totally caffeine triggered 10 minutes after finishing the sixth cup. So I had 2 more cups of gogo juice to really get going. Yeeeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm awake now.

So I ride up to 1A on the sled with Chip. Go through my usual stops with Ed to open the lift. Then the phone rang with Smitty my supervisor on the othe end.

Smitty: Hey TJ. Becky is sick at the bottom of Chair six. I'm short staffed today. Would you go to chair six and replace her. I'm gonna send her to sit at the top of 1A today.

Me: Must have been all those Long Island Ice Teas from last night you guys were feeding her at the Tippler.

Smitty: Slightly.

Well I got my ski boots on and waited for Becky to show up. She did, and she did look positively green. Infact as soon as she got in my lift shed she went right to the little outhouse attached and blew stew bigtime. She was a mess. I gave her some rolaids and water I had in my pack. Man she was a bleach blonde girl with an absolutely green complexion. She kinda looked like Kermit The Frog and Miss Piggy had a kid. But on this day it wasn't good to be green for Becky.

So I skied over to chair 8 and headed up. It was a beautiful day and man the coffee I drank was making me jumpy as hell. So jumpy I think I made maybe 4 entire turns skiing down to chair 6. I just wanted to go as fast as possible it seemd. So I got to chair 6 most rikky tik and soon discovered I was going to need all of that energy from the coffee I drank earlier.

Seems Becky and her partner at the bottom of Chair6 the last 3 days hadn't done any snow removal in the loading area. So now everything was icy and packed solid. We had to chop down through a foot of that stuff to make the area level. If not people would keep getting their calves pinched bad while loading on the chair. And not 10 minutes after the chair opened the complaints came in. The phone rang and we started chopping at ice. It sucked big ones to be sure. Myself and the other guy were going to make sure Becky would be paying a fine at little Nells bigtime because of it. The last thing lifty's want is to have to clean up someone elses lift mess after they have taken such good care of theirs. It's an unspoken code kinda of thing.

So finally after 3 hours we get it done. The sun was out and it was surprisingly warm. Well upper 20's anyway. So we proceded to load butts. Now if you have never loaded butts on an old type chairlift like Chair 6 it is a delicate operation. You have to hold the chair in a slight pause after it goes around the bullwheel so the skiers can somewhat gently sit down. And then you have to gently let go. If you let go to fast the chair will slap the skier in the legs. And it takes some strength to do this little butt loading maneuver. But after a while it gets boring as hell. So I came up with new games for us when the maze got full.

Games like
-throw a snowball at your favorite ski instructor day. I loved this game because ski instructors just got plastered.
-Escort the pretty girl in the maze to the front. This game we would pick out a hot woman and then as soon as she got into the maze we would immediately push her around the maze so she reached the chair safely.

Well those games entertained us for a while. Then the phone rang and it was Smitty.

Smitty: Um TJ are you grabbing women's ass's in the lift maze.

Me: Darn who told.

Smitty: TJ I'm serious. This guy just came in and said you grabbed his girlfriend ass and walked her all around the maze.

Me: Smitty I never grabbed some girls ass. I would in a very fun manner pull a pretty women through the maze to break up the day with some fun.

Smitty: Well just don't do that. From what I could tell the girl loved it, but the boyfriend didn't. So just don't do that game when boyfriends or husbands are around. And it did help that a few people came in and said how much fun they had at your lift today.

Me: Well life is supposed to be fun you know.

Smitty: Yes but you always seem to take it to a new level around here. Slow down some.

You know what. Smitty was right. That last remark kinda struck a cord with me. I needed to slow down a bit. Yep I'm not going to party so much. I'm going to bed early tonight, and think about where I'm going here in OZ. Heh! yah right

end of part 16

"ASPEN: God please let my car start" part 15

Well it had been about a week since that night with the lady lawyers from Atlanta. Things calmed down quite a bit for me since then. I was sleeping at any rate, and not thinking about Kat at every waking moment. However, sometimes those beds were strange that I was sleeping in. And Tammy's whirlwind only flew into Aspen once for 3 days over that time period so things weren't to insane.

Funny thing about Tammy. She was hot, ripped on skis, and was rich. To bad her personality just sucked the old wahzzoo. But she was still hot, ripped on skis, and was rich so I guess I could deal with it. And she did have quite the collection of fine silk undergarments she wore so that was a bonus.

To bad it had been ten days since the last snowfall. The bumps on Bell mtn were getting hard and a few rocks started getting uncovered. I was getting nervous. Seriously nervous. So were the so called town fathers. "WINTERSKOL" was starting tomorrow. It was Aspen's winter carnival. In a perfect world during Winterskol it would dump a foot each day for the races, torch parade, fireworks, ice scultures, snow scultures, and other events scheduled. And it most certainly needed to snow for the "snow queen" on the Skico float to throw cheap candy at people during the parade on Saturday. Mostly it was a week long drunk fest for the rest of the locals.

So George, Clay, Jeff, Adam and myself all planned on doing the torch parade together. It was going to be my first time doing a ski torch parade. Luckily George and Clay were veteran's in said adventures. They gave me the ins and outs of what is going on with the torch parade. But first I must tell this to everyone if you ever consider doing a skiing torch parade.

**When doing the torch parade make sure you wear your old ski clothes and put ducttape all over the tops of your skis and boots if you don't want them ruined. Actually it is best to use your rock skis that you don't care about. Also put duct tape over your gloves as well. Those flares will drip and burn through your gloves if you aren't protected. It is basically naplam that drips out of those flares. Also don't twirl your arms around fast and wild while skiing down. You will fling that drippy napalm from the flares all over the person infront and behind you. I watched this one little boy twirling his arms around so fast that a peice of his flare caught this girls hat on fire twenty feet infront of him. So just stick your arms strait out and follow the person infront of you, and don't fling your arms with lighted flares so you don't catch another girls hat on fire**

Well we all meet up at the "Little Nells" chair for the ride up. We had our party supplys for the long wait untill we ski down. Basically our party supply's were a 6 packs of bud in each of our packs, a 5th of Jack Daniels, and 10 pre rolled doobies. We were ready for a partying war you could say. So we go to get on the chair and Pete the marketing guy from earlier in this saga is loading butts.

Pete: So TJ how are you. Staying out of trouble I hope.

Me: Why yes Pete I'm staying out of trouble. But I wasn't in trouble to begin with. But hey are you doing the torch parade.

Pete: No TJ I'm not. I leave that to you party animals.

And with that remark this guy behind me starts barking. And barking, and barking, and barking. And he is not even with us. Pete knew the guy though.


Pete: Hey Hal how are you.

Hal: Wolf wolf wolf.


Ok I'm thinking this guy is way out there. My kind of person. He ended up riding the chair up with us. We all had our numbers that they gave us to find our spots to form the letter "A" for Aspen when we lit our flares. So we are riding up the chair and Hal starts barking again.


Me: Tell me something do you know any words other than wolf wolf, or were you lost in the forest as a baby and raised by wolves?

Hal: And your name is?

Me: TJ. Name is TJ. Who are you doing this with. You trying to meet someone with that bark of yours.

Hal: No it is a military thing. I'm by myself.

Me: Well what branch. I was Army. You can join us if you want. Least I can do for someone that was stupid and volunteered the way I did.

Hal: Yep funny how we keep volunteering in the suck. What did you do.

Me: 11Boo. Airborne.

Hal: I was a Navy grunt if you know what I mean.

Basically what Hal meant was that he was a "Navy SEAL". Oh and Hal never skied PERIOD. Hal thought it would be a hoot to do the torch parade. So Hal went to the "Mothers" second had shop and spent $25 bucks on old leather ski boots, and 215cm wooden skis. It was priceless.

Me: Umm Hal is it. You must be really into this thing to bring those old skis out.

Hal: Oh these are old. I just got them. I never skied before.

Me: You have never skied before.

Hal: Nope. Never. This just seemed like it would be alot of fun. So why not.

Me: Well ok when you get off of the chair. Just stand up and go strait. We'll try to help you out after that.

So we unloaded off of the chair and Hal went strait. So strait Hal went that he ran right into the local cable TV station crew that was filming people getting off of the chair for the nights festivities. It was indeed an "America's Funniest Home Video's" moment in time. Hal hit them hard interviewing a local singer named "Susan Paris" with the local rock group "Real People". Hal knocked Susan, the reporter, the camera man, and the camera up in the air. Somehow Hal caught the camera.

All was forgiven when the reporter saw what Hal was wearing, and then found out it was his first time skiing. Everyone got a good laugh out of it. We started to go and hike to the top so we could be at the top of the letter "A" for Aspen we were forming. It didn't take long. And it was a serious party all over the mtn up there. Some people even brought a pony keg up. Everybody had booze. Everybody had pot. Hell you could get a contact buzz just walking around up there. There was this one guy walking around with this big water pipe with an ounce of pot in the bowl giving hits to anybody that wanted one. It was so much fun.

So the 5 of us sit there and start to party like anybody else waiting to get their flares to start our torch parade. And like everybody else we were half lit by the time Peter from Marketing got on the bullhorn for us to get ready.

Pete: Ok people put the pot and beer away. Get your skis on and lets form our "A".

Now we are all jacked up and ready to go. We are all hollering, cheering, and still drinking and smoking. The flares get passed out. Then I notice that while each of us only had two flares Hal had 6. To red ones just like we had, but he also had 4 yellow underwater ocean flares. And those burn really really bright. I sense something special is about to happen here.

So we gave Hal a quick snowplow ski lesson and prayed to God he made it down alive without setting himself on fire. I had my money on him setting himself on fire. He damn near did. We were in our "A" shape. We all lit our flares that bathed the slope in the fire of a Giant "A". Then it happened. Hal just started his first ski run of his life. He just took off before anybody else. He was going strait down the trail like the perverbial "bat out of hell" with his very bright ocean flares sparking everywhere. Those flares looked so bright that it appeared his arms were on fire.

Now the "Little Nells" trail has 5 lips going down the trail that if you aren't careful you will catch air off of. And in the dark Hal was doomed by this we feared. Strangly he cleared each lip he could have gotten dangerous air off of and kept going. He didn't even wipe out. And believe me there was a hush in the crowd at each lip he approached in the fear he would wipe out, and then a cheer would erupt when he made it and kept going. Then he didn' t keep going.

Hal's luck had left him and he wiped out. Now Hal looked like a gaint fireworks pinwheel like you see on the 4th of July fireworks shows. Just spinning and spinning. Bright orange and yellow flames from the flares sparkling everywhere. It was absolutely fabulas. The crowd went nuts. When I mean nuts they went nuts. Hal was a hero. He did't have a sratch on him. No burn marks or anything the lucky drunk Navy bastard. Hell if you didn't know any better you would have thought Skico had "Hals first ski run" planned.

So now it was our turn to ski down as drunk as all of us were. It looked ok, but when I got to the bottom I could see all these little people with flares that were crashed all over the Little Nells trail. One guys coat was on fire untill he was rolling all over in the snow to put it out. Yes indeedy this was certainly well planned now wasn't it.

Now you would think the crowd would be really into things with the comedy that just happened. But no they were silent. I mean come on people we are in Aspen. You just watched people sit themselves on fire before the fireworks and you are bored.

Me: COME ON PEOPLE. THIS IS ASPEN LETS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was screaming at the tops of my lungs. Clay and George joined me. The crowd went nuts. Everybody started clapping and cheering at the top of their lungs. I felt like I was some kind of pide piper or something. That's when I noticed what everybody was cheering over. Seems about 10 of the skiers up top for the torch parade waited for us to all go down so they could all ski down naked. That's what the cheers were for.


Heh! Aspen go figure


end of part 15

"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part 14

Boy the next week things became a blur for me. I was partying my ass off. 2 of those nights were with Tammy at her house. Funny thing about that relationship. Well if you wanna call it a relationship. We came to a quick understanding. I don't get paraded around, and I see whoever I want to. She can too, but I was not going to become "Sparticus" to her. As far as I was concerned we were friends that had sex on a regular basis. Funny thing about people that are control freaks. When they are around someone, or something they cannot control they want to control it even more. However I did take the skis opening that door now didn't I?

So we did strike a balance. I had to look at the gift of the skis in a certain way to be completely honest with myself over this issue. It was skibum prostitution and I was the commodity she paid for. Lets be honest here. It was prostitution, pandering, or whatever you wish to call it. Frankly by Tammy giving me those skis it was her payment to make sure she got laid by a stud to be filled by whatever need she needed filling. So since I was said "prostitute" in this matter I equated orgasm's to like what street john's would pay for oral sex. That being 1 orgasm = $50. I owed Tammy 20 orgasms for the skis. By night two the skis were paid for. This is how Tammy and I came to our accord.

Tammy: Oh my my my skibum energizer bunny.

Me: Tammy we need to talk.

Tammy: Oh come back to me and give me another 10, and don't be so serious and have a good time.

Me: Let's be strait about this good time. I skied with the new skis today and everybody knew you got them for me from the Rossi rep. And from the remarks I got today. Well lets be honest they were all correct in their assumptions. You paid for my pleasure, and please you I did. The skis are paid for.

Tammy: Now TJ you don't need to be so dramatic about it. It is how the world works. We are all just a bunch of whores one way or another. Using each other at every turn of the trick. You get what you want and I get what I want.

Me: No more gifts Tammy. You wanna see me for a good time every now and again then fine. No parading me infront of over the hill cougars whose husbands are one foot in the grave and can't get it up anymore at those stupid dinner party's like last night. I'm done with any relationships. It's equal footing or you can go back to paying for Sparticus's pleasure when you whirlwind back into town.

Tammy: Come come TJ I can hand someone like you Aspen on a silver platter if you want.

Me: Well your silver platter is filthy. I'll take the paper plate Aspen because it is clean. It's that or nothing Tammara.

Tammy: We have an agreement TJ.

With that issue being settled Tammy and I went back to bed. I got up the next morning and went to work. I used my Pre's to ski on. Look lets be honest here. I loved the Rossi 3G's, but for awhile I only skied them on my day off. And I did take schit about Tammara and Kat from alot of my friends. Some felt I was the goat and others felt I was the hero by landing "the cougar" in Aspen. I never told anybody why Kat and I broke up. I just said we couldn't get past an issue and that was that.

So I got through another day of loading butts. Well not really. Every once in a while Ajax gets high winds. And because of the way the mountain trails funnel downward the lift system gets tossed around. By 11am all the lifts, including the gondola were closed down because of high winds except for chair 4 "Little Nells" and 1A. The chair lift I sat on top of was always the last to be shutdown on wind hazzard days, and the wind was howling. By the time the chairs got up to me all the seats were flipped up. So I called Ed up. Ed called Carl, and we were ordered to run the lift on slow until it emptied and then shut it down for the day.

Cool that means I could ski the Little Nells chair all afternoon and get paid for it. Free skiing indeedy. So after 45 minutes of finally getting frozen popcycle people off of the chair we shut her down and I went skiing.

Now when you stand at the base of the Gondola and look strait up to the little mining cabin about 1000'. Well that trail going up to that cabin is the "little Nells" trail. Except for now the market dept has givin the one "Little Nells" trail 10 different names to pad their trail count. They train gates on Little Nells and it's pretty easy skiing, but great for end of day mellow turns if the mtn isn't busy. And since the entire mtn was closed except for that trail it wasn't busy at all. It was an empoyee skiing love fest.

We did tricks off of jumps. Tricks those days were mostly spread eagles, daffy's, back scratchers, heli's, and the odd heli with one of the other tricks tossed in. Lame by todays standards, but when you are doing them on heavy ass 207cm skinny skis it was amazing we survived. It was a priceless day. Mountain employees spirits being lifted by being able to get off work early to make turns. And get paid for it. So of course we all had to hit the "Little Nells" bar afterwards for beer, and then even more beer to be cosumed by all employees enjoying our own special OZ-day.

So I'm sitting there with the gang, and also carrying on a conversation with these three women from Atlanta. They were there on a singles trip. They were all lawyers. Hey it's all in the name of skibum fun anyway. So we are chatting it up when Hugh comes and grabs me.

Hugh: TJ hey Kat is sitting over there. She keeps looking over at you.

Me: Well that's too bad. Let's do a shot.

So we do shots of B52's with the 3 lady lawyers from Atlanta. Then Hugh grabs my arm again as I'm carrying on a great conversation with one of the lady lawyers named "Lauren", and the hits are obivious.

Hugh: TJ, TJ, TeeeeeJaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy

Me: What, what, whhhaaaaaatttttt

Hugh: Tamara just cam in and is sitting over at Barbi Bentons table.

Me: So!

Hugh: Well aren't you seeing her now.

Me: No, Not right now. Right now I'm going back to Laurens condo, and her freind Donna wants you to come too.

end of part 14

"ASPEN: Please God let my car start" part 13

Tammy: TJ don't look so happy to see me. And why won't you call me Tamara like everybody else does.

Me: I'm not everybody else begging drinks from you. Where is sparticus at? Keeping the benz warm for you? Besides it better than calling you "Deliehla"

Tammy: Oh my a biblical reference to a sex goddess. I'm impressed TJ. Scott, well he's good for a laugh, but not what I want.

Me: OK I'll play. What do you want Deliehla?

And with that Deliehla stood up and took off her big puffy "Michelin Tire Lady" white down coat with the mink fur collar. Standing in the hallway to my apt stood Tammy and all she had on underneith that coat was a silk black garter belt, black slik stockings, and black shoes with stilletto heals. What do you think happened?

Tamara was in her middle thirties. I can't be sure. She never told me to be honest. She lied once and told me she was 26. She had the body of a women that was 26. She had this female personal trainer over at her house 5 days a week when she flew into town. The women's body was perfect. Funny how later on that was one of the things that still bugged me about her. Even perfection has it's limits. Tammy never knew what her limits were.

Of course I took Deliehla into my apt. I was a kid. I was lonely, but more importanly lets be honest. I was a horny young man in his early twenties with an extremely hot women naked infront of him looking like she just stepped off of the cover of "PlayBoy" magazine. My God she was 34D 24 34 and 5'6" with long wavy light brown hair hell yes I took her into my apt. And she had her appetites. I guess I was able to satisfy a few of her appetites because she kept coming around and finding me whenever she felt like it. Whether I liked it or not.

Sure it was fun I guess. But looking back on it. Not really. I mean Tammy knew how to buy people. From what I could tell she really didn't have very many friends. True friends that is. She just picked up the bar tab alot. Or shows up at your door with two pair of Factory Rossignol 3G skis. One pair in a 207cm and the other in a 203cm length. And she does this not two days after I slept/screwed our brains out with her. Well I guess she had a whale of a good time by showing up with skis. (I still have the both pairs of skis)

Tammy: Here TJ pick the length you want.

Me: Tammara I don't need skis. I have my Pre's, but thank you for the offer

Tammy: Don't be childish TJ. Your skis cannot keep up with you and you know it. Besides if it is about money you know I can afford it and you cannot. I spend this on dinner sometimes TJ. Let someone do something nice for you.

Ok here is the problem. She is correct about my Pre Premier 204cm skis (I won them at the "SkiCo" opening day party) couldn't keep up with me. They were to soft and I was to hard on them. But man I was feeling like I was Tammy's "chic on the side" and she was my "backdoor man" the way she was showeriing me with gifts all of the sudden. I shouldn't say alot of gifts. But 2 pairs of skis. That's right two pairs of skis with the bindings to go with it. I took them. Damn I still took them.

Skibum golden rule 7: "free skis is free skis"

So basically for the next 2 months whenever Deliehla's wind blew into OZ I was her beaooch. Don't get me wrong we had alot of fun. Hell great fun. Excessive fun, and with excessiveness even it has it's limits. Tamara felt she didn't have any limits. I did have my limits though. But like anybody that got involved with Tamara she had a way of making you cross those lines in the sand that you would never cross over before no matter what. Tamara had a way of making those lines in the sand not even matter anymore to you. And you didn't even notice you crossed them untill it was almost too late. Notice I said almost to late.

She would take me to these damn dinner partys at Red Mountain or down at the Woody Creek rich peoples homes. I was a fish out of water. There to be looked at and not listened to for the most part. The great looking guy with the size 13 shoe. Fukk! I just kept thinking. "So this is what trophy girlfriends/wives feel like while being paraded around". And that is what you feel like in a way. Now granted Tammy was one extremely hot lady, and any guy should feel happy walking with her down the street. But it was the way she did it that bugged me the most. Like I said: "trophy"

As I stated earlier in this saga about my life I did some crappy things while living in Aspen. Many I'm not to proud about. My involvement with Tammy was one of the things I wasn't to proud about at all. Truth be told I was crushed over Kat. I mean I was seriously heartbroke. I thought she was the one for me. I really truly did feel she was the love of my life at the time. It hurt like hell to find out that she never really truly ever took me seriously. I was her thrill till someone with a fatter wallet came around. I became emitionally numb for a couple of months after that and during my involvement with Tammy. Funny thing irony. Kat wanted a man with a fat wallet and I ended up dating the person with the fat wallet. Well fat purse!

end of part 13

"ASPEN: God please let my car start" Part 12

Well Gage and I went back to the apt to eat breakfast and get back to Ajax to ski freshies. Of course we got a small tongue lashing from our mother when we walked into the door. That was to be expected. She is after all our mother and no matter what we do in life she will always worry like moms do. Still God it gets old after a bit.

Mom: Umm I hope you boys wore rubbers.

Me: Now Mom come on. Did I tell you "I hope you made him use a rubber" on your dates?

Mom: Hey that is not fair.

Gage: Sure it is. And of course we wear rubbers mom. That new AIDS stuff is pretty scary.

Me: Jeez can we get back to eating eggs and getting ready to go skiing. This topic sucks.


So we finish eating and get ready. The reason we were skiing Ajax was because we had to be done skiing and back at the appartment by 1pm. They were flying out of Aspen at 3:30pm, so that left us 2 and a half hours of error time to play with. And boy even typing the time their plane was departing twenty years later still seems very lonely to me.

So we finished packing Mom and Gages things up. Gage left out a change of clothes for when we got done skiing for their plane ride back to Defiance, Ohio. Mom dropped us off at the Gondola to go do some final shopping. We walked up the stairs. Did a shot of Jack Daniels (thank you George), then got in the Gondola line like everybody else. MOOO MOOOO Gage and I stayed in the singles line and managed to get the 4th gondo car going up. We got just over "Copper Bowl" when the gondo came to a sudden halt. And BOING BOING BOING we went up and down, and up and down. I loved it when it did that there.

You see whenever the "Silver Queen Gondola" stops over Copper Bowl it is about a 500' drop strait down to the bottom. And it is one heck of a fun bungie boing type ride in the cabin if you get emergency stopped above it. Gives you the "old penis tingle" feeling with each bounce. Tourist's freak. There were 4 other people in the car with us. Two couples in their late 40's early 50's maybe. The one lady just lost it.

old lady: Oh my God, Oh my God. We are all going to die.


Yep she lost it but good. She started sobbing uncontrollably immediately when the car started bouncing. Her husband, and the other couple tried to calm her down. Man it was crazy. Nervous breakdown on the gondola in Aspen. Boy what a story that will make in the "Aspen Daily News": "woman freaks out in gondola car over Copper Bowl on Ajax. 5 people jump to their deaths because they couldn't take her whining".

Atleast that is what I was imagining in my head for what seemed like an eternity with that lady crying so much. I looked at Gage, and he looked back at me. We read each others minds. I then pulled a joint out.

Me: To bad this car is full of people

Gage: Man she has lost it. To bad we can't smoke that in here.

Then the gondola car got deadly silent after Gage's statement. And I mean oddly quiet. The women stopped crying and was calming down. But all 4 of them were staring at me with said doobie in hand. I thought I was going to get the drugs and skiing speech. Boy was I ever wrong.

Man1: Um are you guys going to spark that up in here.

**an alarm should have gone off in my head with what he just sad. they smoked pot too. duh**

Gage: What business is it of yours.

Me: Gage calm down. Why do you ask sir. We weren't going to. Just an attempt at bad humor. I'm sorry if I offended you.

Man1: Well if you do, would you mind sharing that splif with us. I think she can use it. She is afraid of heights and it is her first time on the gondola. She can handle the chairs, but this is her first time.

So I'm looking at them. They are looking at me and I'm thinking sure. Lets spark it up like the man said. I gave the joint to the nervous breakdown lady first. I thought she was going to "Boggart" the entire joint for a second there the way she was inhaling it. Frankly it was funny as hell after she got out of the Gondola.

Me: Um if you guys aren't from here this will hit you pretty hard at altitude. Where are you from by the way?

Man2: Chicago and it is our first day here. But we are from the sixties. I don't think this little bit of pot will bother us.

Gage: Wanna bet. My first day here last week after 3 tokes I was baked for hours. And I do mean hours.

Me: Hey man I live here and trust me it will hit you. So take it easy a bit. And when you stand up stand up slowly or you will get one hell of a head rush.

Well the car started moving about 10 minutes later. We opened the windows to let the smoke out. The nervous lady wasn't nervous anymore. Infact all of the sudden she couldn't shut the hell up about what a beautiful day it was going to be. The the Gondola car arrived up top and the doors opened for us to get out. The poor nervous breakdown lady forgot about her skis and promplty walked right strait into the door leading to the lift office knocking her flat backwards. God I wish I had a cam corder for that to put up on "YouTube"

Her friends helped her up, while Gage and I set their skis aside for them. We all laughed about it. So did she. They were great people. We chatted a bit and they offered to buy us lunch at Bonnies at 11. We accepted of course.

skibum golden rule 37: Bonnies has killer food, and if someone offers to buy you lunch there you accept it.

Well Gage and I decided to chew up the pow on the blues trails to start off. Besides Gage was pretty beat up from his week of skiing with me and my friends. So we cruised "Silver Bell" down to the Ajax express and did about 5 laps of gasing pow on the runs off of Ajax Express for the first hour. Mostly because Walsh's, Kristies, and Hyrups were not open yet. So we took Northstar down, and man did it ever have huge ass powder bumps. I looked up and Gage would dissappear around each bump. And it didn't matter if you were skiing them good or not. There was so much snow that everything was soft. A bump skiers dream actually. We would make 3 or 4 turns and fall, laugh, and then do it all over again. It was killer.

We got to Gentlemans ridge and instead of taking chair seven we hit Glade 3 for more powder fun. Dropped into Copper Bowl then round Kleenex Corner to the Bell Chair. Now the Bell chair is old and slow but the terrain it goes over is incrediable. Bell mtn on Ajax is known for it's bumps. And you better have rubber knees to ski them because they get huge.

So we whip down "Seiberts" to Copper Bowl for full on gas powder turns to the bottom, and then ride the Gondola back up to meet our pot smoking gondola fearing friends for lunch at Bonnies. Boy was I in rythem skiing that day. It was effortless turns the snow was so light. You felt like you could go on forever. Each turn was met with a smile, breath, then smile again.

Then we hit Kleenex corner and it was a train wreck as usual. "Kleenex Corner" is the main route down Ajax at the end of the day. It is icy as hell, and the face of "Little Nells" trail is always skied off boiler plate by noon because of it. That is why it is best to ski the east part of the mtn in the morning, then come down the west side trails on Ruthies run to end your day. You avoid the train wreck this way.

So we get to Bonnies and only ended up meeting the two men from the group. Seems the one lady got really stoned and really tired soon after we left them. So both women went back to their hotel. The men stayed and skied.

So we are going through the cafeteria line at Bonnies. I grab me a chicken sandwich, pasta salad, and a beer of course. I look over at the two gentleman and they looked like Bluto from the movie Animal House in the dorm cafeteria. They had their trays loaded. Cheeseburgers, soup, cookies, fries, onion rings, pudding, salad, chips, candy bars.

Seems they had a case of the munchies bigtime. We sat down and I proceded to watch them devour each and every morsle of food in front of them. I thought one was eyeing my pasta salad and was getting ready to ask me if I was going to finish it or not. I did finish It. I had the munchies too. But then Man1 noticed Jack. Jack being "Jack Nicoleson" the actor. Same guy that rides my lift everyday.

Now Jack likes to entertain no matter where he is. Infact he even eats like he is entertaining you. He purposefully eats funny to bust people staring at him. It's his way of mocking you. Today Jack was eating soup. He would dive his spoon strait into the soup. Then after the spoon cleared the bowl Jack would take his free non-spoon holding hand to push the spoon into his mouth all the while very loudly slurping his soup with perfect glee and satisfaction. You have just been entertained by Jack. The "Jack Nicoleson eating soup" story will be told at cocktail partys for generations.

Me: Jack is entertaining again. Look at how he is eating soup.

Man2: He doesn't do that on purpose does he.

Man1: Who cares he is Jack Nicoleson. He can do whatever he wants.

Gage: Pretty damn funny.

Me: Just look at all the people watching him. Watch their heads move up and down with each spoonful.

Sure enough everybody in Bonnies was watching Jack eat his soup. He caught a glimps of me and winked. I just started laughing. Jack slurped his soup louder after that. It was pricelss. But lunch was over and Gage and I had time for 3 more runs before we had to head out. We did what we always do when ending a ski day. We raced. We laughed. We enjoyed being brothers.

I won our race, but I lost too. Atleast that was what I was thinking as I watched their airplane take off into the horizon. My brother and I had a great time. It wasn't until I left when I was 17 for the Army that my relationship with my brother went bad. Gage felt I left him alone with our stepdad at the time "Rex". Rex wasn't good to Gage. I took care of that problem after I finished Airborne Training and went home on leave.

But this time our relationship was like those St John Lutheran School ski trips with Mr Lieski we took as kids. We skied, fell, raced, laughed, and ate like kings. And that is always a very cool thing.

So I drive back to my apt. It's clear and cold out. I'm somewhat depressed that my family had left and thinking about several issues. Then there she was. Sitting inside the doorway to my apt.

Tammy: High TJ. I thought you might be loney.

end of part 12